#family man! ramon

[artemiseamoon]

Preview: Prelude to Dawn

Ramon x Princesa aka RC

A post fic oneshot for Flirting with Danger

Words: 2,729

A03

I was thinking about them and this old ask. So this happened! My work is on A03, so I strongly suggest, if you don’t have an account with them, sign up. If you need help navigating a03 read this, I do not give out accounts, they do. I have zero plans to post in full again on tumblr. So this is THE way to read my work, anything written after last fall. PLUS In the future (I’m seriously considering this) I may take all full work off tumblr, but keep it only on A03. To whoever this Anon was, thanks again! I guess your ask seeded in my brain over the months.💜

Obviously major spoilers if you have not finished the fic. So if you keep reading you’ve been warned.

⏱ about 5 years after the post-fic bonus chapter. So Isabel is about 8 and their other daughter, Elisa, is around 5. We can imagine they have settled nicely somewhere and living a full life, carefully and far from anywhere they’d get in trouble.

⚠️Warnings: none really, some suggestive stuff, an off screen hookup, nothing hardcore or full on.

Leaning against the building, you gaze at the sunset. The sky is ablaze with orange accents, casting moody shadows along the ground. There’s something about sunsets that you’ve always found peaceful, and you fondly recall the very first one you watched with Ramón all those years ago. It felt like a different world, from then to now.

Sunsets make you think about dreams, wishes, and things to come. Your first sunset in Mexico was filled with excitement and anxiety, you could only anticipate so much, and for the most part, you figured you’d be stuck at a desk, pushing paperwork and doing transcripts since that's the way things were going. You took a gigantic risk when you signed up for the case that changed your life forever.

You have a family now, you’re a mother to two, and you've married to the love of your life. When you imagined falling in love before Mexico, you never imagined this. You hoped your future man would be strong, smart, and creative. You hoped for a person who would love you and treat you well, while not trying to change you or make you fit into a mold. Still, love wasn’t high on your list of properties, your career took the lead.

The last thing you expected to happen in Mexico was love, especially with him. Even with the hardships, the tears, and the struggles along the way, you couldn’t be happier with your now. Someway, somehow everything turned out better than imagined. The three years you've spent apart, before he found your beach house, feels like another life.

As you continue to watch the sunset, the sweetness of Ramón’s lips pulls you back to the present moment as he kisses your shoulder.

“Where’d you go?” He asked, slowly sliding one arm around your body as he snuggled closer.

“Just thinking about things.”

“Everything is fine mama bear,” he replied and kissed the side of your face.

Ramón started calling you that because though you value your time away from the kids when you can get it, you can’t help but worry when you’re away from them.

It’s a funny thing really, especially for someone who didn’t want kids at all, and freaked out when you found out you were pregnant eight years ago. Though you do worry at times, you’re actually feeling really relaxed right now, especially since the kids are with Dina. She’s often visited you and Ramón’s home and stays for long periods of time; she’s obsessed with the kids, and they love her to pieces.

“I know, I’m good,” you finally replied as he watched you. Resting one hand on his chest, you use the other to play with the buttons on his shirt. “You look yummy.”

Your comment makes him laugh. Once you and Ramón settled down, and life started to feel safer, his inner fashionista started to come back, much to your pleasure. He’s always nice to look at, and now that the nice outfits and especially those shirts you love so much are back, you extra can't keep your hands off him.

“Mi amor, they voted us the most stylish parents.” he commented with a chuckle then popped his collar, clearly proud of it.

“Clearly, look at us” you smile and pull him in closer to you by his collar.

This is a preview * read in full on A03

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[narcos-narcosmx]

A Moodboard for the recent oneshot. The girls with Aunty Dina 💕

Flirting with danger

[etoilesenjoyer]

I can't wait for everyone to be reunited again

[zeb-z]

leo leaving foolish a sign like all the others, leaving the most concrete out of all the messages, but no one comments on it. foolish, dead quiet after asking for a direct translation, as the others come in, take note of the sign, and then continue on to other topics. forever coming up, asking if this is anything new or “just another sign”. baghera and fit, the only ones asking if he’s okay, and he just brushes it off, because of course he would, it’s foolish, and it’s easy even though it’s entirely unconvincing and obviously a lie, because everyone else is talking over them anyway. etoiles not even checking in, just pulling him aside to accuse him of federation bullshit. everyone proceeding to talk about crimes in his tower, sitting right on the concrete trail. mouse in the cappy place, saying foolish doesn’t even care about leo, he doesn’t care that she’s gone, and foolish goes quiet for a full minute, until he can find some joke to latch onto and start deflecting again. I can’t take it anymore I’m at my limit.

did anyone other than foolish know the significance of the amethyst, and take note, like they did with the other eggs and their left behind items? or was it just him, alone later on, repeating always juntos to himself as he looks at the message again.

[callmebrutus]

ramon if you've read my posts yesterday give a sign/j

[ramon-tikaram-love]

Mr Vong, excitedly awaiting Lord Malvan's return from a hard day's galactic conquest

full image under cut (mildly nsft)

[keepthetension]

i have zero interest in the dad's speech. i just want a better look at chef mhon in this outfit

[yesyourstalker]

Ramon: do you know why Desmond called us in today?

Baja: no. I hope it's nothing serious or involves the show somehow

Ramone: maybe they decided to make some changes to the channel. What I've been hearing the co-owner isn't really happy

Baja: ummmm

Desmond: alright sorry about the wait folks traffic and everything. Is Oshi here yet?

Baja: no

Ramon: nah

Desmond: Well she'll show up eventually. *Sigh*....ok....I have some good news and some bad news depending on your situation.

Ramon:....?

Baja:....?

Desmond: The good news is audience reception for the show was great, meaning that we're going to pick it up. And we'll be filming at least 10 episodes

Ramon: nice

Baja: that's great!

Desmond: The other news is it's going to be filming on a different lot

Baja: oh... Like a new studio That's not so bad

Ramon: how far away is it?

Desmond: It's going to be an angler avenue....in chellwood

Baja: oh chellwood....... Chellwood!!!

Ramon: are you serious

Baja:That's.....that's.. that's way across the country!! That's hours...... That's.... days away! I can't make that commute!!

Desmond: That's why you kids are going to have to move.

Baja:......what!!!!

Ramon: oh come on man. You really telling us that we had to uproot everything and move? Where we going to go? I don't have the money to get another place. My lease just started at my old place..

Desmond: listen we got everything covered. Flights, moving crew, and a couple of checks. We even have a place for you to stay and get acclimated for the time being.... It will be a swift transition.....

Ramon: ......*sigh*..... Are we able to take people with us

Desmond: like who?

Ramon: my niece....... I'm taking care of her. Her folks aren't able to be there so I have to.

Desmond: we'll take care of it

Ramon: how?

Desmond: we'll-we'll do something! A bigger apartment!....a separate apartment

Ramon: she's 14...

Desmond: we figure it out! Listen Well start filming at the end of the month Okay you have 30 days to prepare, we have everything for you to leave. You just need to contact us when you're ready and we'll ship you off to silver City got it?

Ramon:...........................*sigh*........... Alright

Desmond: good.... Baja what about you?

Baja:h-

Oshi: I'm sorry I'm late to this meeting I had a phone call and ran for....... hours......*sigh*...... Did you tell them about the location change?

Desmond: yep... They're up the speed about what they need to do

Oshi: great.... great.........ok.....*clap*..... So just call me and I will book the flight. I will hire the moving vans and I'll give you two places to stay........ I'm going to have one of my assistants go with you two to help and guide.

Shimi: Oshi!!! We need to discuss the decisions you're making with this channel! Now.

Oshi: shimi I'm busy

Shimi: yeah! You are busy!! Busy ruining this channel that WE were supposed to co-own!!

Oshi: [eye roll]........shimi we talked about this. If you wanted to make a history channel then you should have pitched a History channel instead octarian culture and entertainment

Shimi: octarian culture is history!!!

Oshi: shimi..... Honey, this is not the time to talk about this.

Shimi: this is the perfect time to talk about this!!.... This was supposed to be a channel of education and preserving our culture and our people

Oshi: I agree and that's why we're making this network...to show the world-

Shimi: what?! That we're just as bad as these surface dwellers? Having a channel for nothing but sitcoms, and talk shows and gossip!?!

Ramon: I'm heading to the food court. You coming?

Baja: yeah ok

Oshi: we also have a news segment.

Shimi: *scoff*

Oshi: shimi..... I so I understand that this is not what you wanted for the channel but that's not going to sell. I get you wanted documentaries and educational channels telling us about our history with the war and our advanced technology but.... We have a culture outside of that as well. And I really think It would be amazing if we showed the world our food, our fashion, sports...

Warabie: music.......hi mom

Oshi: hi ink drop...*kiss* music..... We have tons of music

Warabie: [texting] isn't Grandpa a DJ? DJ Octavo? Mom you should give him his own show it would be funny

Shimi: no it wouldn't. Warabie go home or something. What did I tell you about coming into our job?

Warabie: alright... I'm heading to the food court.

Shimi:.......*sigh*........Oshi we need to talk

Oshi: ugh..... I guess we can do some adjustments to the channel.... Can you show some documentaries in the morning...

Shimi: no.....no ......we need to talk about us.....our marriage

_______________________________________________

Warabie: sooooooo how's everything? How's work?

Baja: it's fine I guess.. .. *eating*.....

Warabie: well..... I've been promoted at work as a manager and I've been talking to my mom after I came home and she said that I really improved and I showed a lot of responsibility and........... I'm no longer cut off!!! My mom gave me a new credit card!!.... We get a better apartment!! Shit but the money you're going to rake in we can get penthouse!!

Baja: uhhhhh..... that's great....ummm about that.....

_______________________________________________

Neta: you're moving chellwood!! Baja that's amazing!!! You don't look excited! You should be excited about this!

Baja: yeah.....yeah... I should.....I am ... I am excited... I just..... I don't know. I just got used to being here and now I have to move again. It's going to be farther away

Neta: you tell your roommates

Baja: Yeah they reacted well.... Warabie overreacted.. He's threatened to stuff himself in my suitcasing to come with me

Neta: as he does..... Well If it makes you feel any better, I'm also moving away soon too

Baja: oh yeah you're moving to Mount Nigotta

Neta: yep my old childhood home..... once it's all fixed up anyway.

Baja:........*sigh*............. you'll keep in contact right?

Neta: of course...hey! maybe I'll visit you sometimes

Baja: really?

Neta: Yeah I'll fly over to visit. Hang out in your big old mansion in the hills

Baja: hehehe......I don't think I'll be that successful.

Neta: nonsense! You'll be on billboards in no time... So when are you moving anyway

Baja: by the end of the month I think I'm just going packing now. Ramon and I are planning on just going together. Make things easier

_______________________________________________

Keikei: so when are we going to move?

Ramon: by the end of next week.... Perfect Time too you start at a new school, a new semester. You okay? Excited! I know this is abrupt and everything I know you're going to have to leave your friends behind and-

Keikei: how big is our house going to be?

Ramon: keikei....hehehe girl come on? Aren't you going to miss your friends?

Keikei: no

Ramon:....

Keikei: yeah... I guess.. I'll make better friends....richer friends

Ramon: Yeah you will but you shouldn't forget your old friend keikei... It's important that you don't leave people behind because you moved on to a different life

Keikei:... *Sigh* I hope the school I go to is nice. One of those schools with the built-in swimming pool and their own turf war map

Ramon: you don't even play turf war

Keikei: I know but schools with their own turf maps are always the nicest

Ramon: *sigh*... hehehehe You're not wrong

_______________________________________________

Hine: you know there were a lot of people out there in chellwood.

Baja: I know Mom

Hine: a lot of them will....break your heart

Baja: mom

Hine: oh am I kidding you'll be the one breaking people's hearts.....hehehe...*sigh*..... Make sure you call me every other day

Baja: I will

Hine: keep in contact with your siblings especially Your younger ones

Baja: I will

Hine: Don't forget your nephews and nieces okay? you have to be a big brother and an uncle that job doesn't stop once you become successful sweetie

Baja: mom

Hine: just don't forget us sweetie. I love you

Baja: I love you too.

_______________________________________________

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

Ramon: *yawn*.....umm......*knock....*knock*..... keikei get up...*sniff*.... Moving who's going to be here? Any minute. Get dressed and get your bags and suitcase in the car so we can head to the airport.

Keikei: Wait my friends are supposed to come over and say goodbye. They should be here any minute I told him that I was going to leave at 9

Ramon: Well I hope they get here soon cuz we got an hour drive all right?

*KNOCK*

Keikei: must be them

Nina: KEIKEI! I can't believe you're moving

Miranda: we're going to miss you here.

Ebony : It's going to be so weird seeing you not in class with us. Here we bought you something

Keikei: I know I'm just as surprised as you guys......... (gasp) You got me an ink fast T-Shirt!!! This is their world tour shirt that just ended. How'd you get this?

Nina: Our other friend's dad owns a merch shop in the mall and he gets this stuff cheap and she gave it to us for free

Keikei: oh I go there sometimes....cirrina's dad?

Nina: yeah

Keikei: heh nice of her I guess

Baja: excuse me sorry ...... Hey Ramon! The moving truck outside. My stuff is already packed up and ready to go

Ramon: alright! Coming down now!

Girls: hiiiiiiiiiiii Baja!

Baja: um?.....oh! You're cirrina's friends!

Keikei: I'm not her friend

Nina: what brings you here? Hehehe

Baja: Well me and Ramones are about to move for a job opportunity.... I kind of feel bad. I wish I had time to tell everyone. I won't be able to walk you girls to the train stop in the morning anymore

Ebony: what you're moving too!!

Miranda: noooo!

Nina: damn it all!!

Ramon: All right I got all my bags. And everything should be packed up by 12:00?

Movers: yep, everything should should be done in an hour or two. It will be shipped by the afternoon

Ramon: alright. Keikei say goodbye to your friends, exchange numbers, media tags. Whatever you need to keep in contact all right let's go

Keikei:........... alright......I guess I'm going....*sniff*......Promise you'll call right

Miranda:.... Of course!.... Text us when you get to the airport...

Nina:....*crying*.....I can't believe you're moving....we were going to prom together....*crying*......

Keikei:....*crying*...... don't cry I'm not to cry...

Ebony:....*crying*...........awwww

Ramon:......*sigh*........... Come on keikei let's go.

Baja:....hehehehe....

Keikei: ok ...ok....ok....*sniff*..... When we're all in our twenties....*sniff*..... We're like going to plan a trip or something.....bye!!!

Girls: BYE!!!!

Keikei:......*sniff*......*sniff*......

Ramon: Richer and better friends huh?

Keikei: SHUT UP! hehehehe

Ramon: alright hehe.... let's go

_______________________________________________

Epilogue (This has been in my drafts for a long time and I don't know what to do with it so I'm going to use it now just to get rid of it)

Shimi: I'm not happy.

Oshi: okay

Shimi: and I've been feeling this way for a long time. It feels like I'm not being listened to. I'm not being appreciated and not being acknowledged and when I try you just ignore me

Oshi:hmmm

Shimi:............. want a divorce

Oshi: ok

Shimi:......ok?

Oshi:...... ......o..k.....

Shimi: Okay? that's all you can say is okay

Oshi: What do you want from me shimi? You want a divorce? I'll give you a divorce......... I have three interviews I interviews I have to do and-

Shimi: So you're just fine with us separating 40 years out of the window

Oshi: *sigh*......... You really think you're the only one unhappy in this marriage. All you do is wine and complain and you bitch and your moan when you never get what you want and I've had to bear with that for 40 years........ I'm tired shimi. I've been tired way longer than you have...

Shimi: Heh oh please If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in this position. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have this fame, this money, this notoriety!! ... If it wasn't for me, you'd probably be a pornstar.

Oshi: . And if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be as successful as you are today. Do you know how many gigs I got you the roles I found for you? I was more of an agent than I was a wife? ...... what did I get in return? ......

Shimi:.................

Oshi: Nothing ....I got nothing........The opportunities I've had to give up because of you. Because it didn't fit the "Octavo family name" that you care so much about.

Shimi: What is wrong about caring about my family's reputation!!

Oshi:.........................No one cares about the reputation of the Octavo family!!!! It's just you shimi!!! .....................*sigh*......You are so stuck in your old ways and you are so stubborn!! The war is over!! We lost!!! get over it!!

Shimi:...............................

Oshi:...................*sigh*..........Everyone has moved on...... Your father is living his best life...... He's happy, he's retired....... Our Kids are on the surface and they're integrating into our new world.... And yet somehow you still have something to complain about....you still find something to be unhappy about..... you're never satisfied....... and now you can be bitter all by yourself. Hehe...... expect a phone call from my lawyer and some faxes coming to this week.......get out of my office....

[lionheartedmusings]

once again rotating the qsmp and it's depiction of parenthood in my head and yeno i just... it makes me so deeply emotional it's not even funny? i remember conversations about "mothers and fathers" being the true qsmp theme song and i will die on that hill forever.

the thing that i find so poignant about it is that this was (as far as we know) never meant to be the story they were going to tell — the eggs were meant to come and go, a chapter in a story that would be looked back on fondly but one that was firmly over. and yet, the love. oh, the love.

it's so rare in media that we get such a raw and slow perspective of parenthood from the parents' perspective, to see the bonds forming and solidifying from "a responsibility that scares me" to "i would tear the world apart for you" — going back to vods of the first day of the eggs is wild, because they're filled with novelty and interest, but then time passes and we see love blossom.

we see love through grief too, like fit's voice when ramon lost his first life, or bad's screams when dapper had his nightmare, or the grief that came with trump, juana, and tilin's deaths. the desperation and grief of parents is an uncomfortable thing to witness, but in a medium like the qsmp it allows people to explore stories that are sometimes too heavy or too dark to portray in a less "goofy" medium.

we watched people's focus shift to their children as they embraced parenthood, especially in the face of loss, and we saw them accept truths that aren't pretty: if the eggs are there to manipulate them, okay. if they're a way for the federation to control them? fine. it doesn't matter, they're their children. they won't let go of them, not even if they're ultimately a means to keep them subdued.

the only time we've seen these characters truly lose their shit and rebel properly was when the eggs went missing, and that says so much. they'll almost accept losing their autonomy, but they won't lose their children.

it's been almost a year of the eggs, and they're the center of everything. every event, every game, every day — eggs are always the focus, whether it be in a "we need to protect them" way or a "i wonder what they want to do today" way. it's all about those kids.

meanwhile, we get to see these people be scared shitless, not have answers, be lost and confused half the time and not knowing how to handle every situation — they try their best, but time and time again they fumble and say the wrong thing, and have to apologise and try to do better next time.

it's so fucking beautiful, man. we see a day-to-day experience of parenthood and family (government assigned, found, chosen) that shows and movies can't give us because they're not a daily, breathing, on-the-go medium where we get to follow this one (or multiple bc none of us have lives) character through just... life.

in having this opportunity, we're privy to one of the most honest, human, and poignant depictions of parenthood and maturing that i've ever seen. we get to live this journey with these characters, and i'd bet a lot of money that that's part of why we're all so deeply attached to the eggs too.

long story short, storytelling is so fucking awesome and sometimes the most beautiful stories happen by accident.

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Yes votes / Artist - Song title / Poll number / Showdown votes / * Showdown Winner / ¤ Ultimate Showdown Winner

95% A-ha - Take On Me #91 - 45.2% *

94,8% Boney M. - Rasputin #37 - 49,3% * ¤

94,7% Johann Sebastian Bach - Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565 #405 - 13,1%

94,6% Beethoven - Symphony No. 5 #223 - 16,5%

94,3% Dolly Parton - Jolene #110 - 43,1% *

94,2% Ray Parker Jr. - Ghostbusters #399 - 11,3%

94,1% Britney Spears - Toxic #04 - 51,9% *

94% Green Day - American Idiot #264 - 29,6% * ¤

93,4% Blondie - Call Me #373 - 31,7% *

92,8% The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black #236 - 20% *

92,5% Outkast - Hey Ya! #260 - 49,6% *

92,4% Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song #384 - 34,9% *

92,2% Ritchie Valens - La Bamba #381 - 13,2%

92% Fleetwood Mac - The Chain #116 - 44,4% * ¤ 92% The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army #268 - 19,7% ¤

91,5% Stevie Wonder - Superstition #261 - 15,9%

91% The Cranberries - Zombie #323 - 44,8% * ¤

90,9% Smash Mouth - All Star #336 - 62,2% *

90,6% Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World #301 - 20,9%

90,3% Michael Sembello - Maniac #227 - 6,2%

90,2% Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) #163 - 30,8% *

90% Andrew Gold - Spooky, Scary Skeletons #400 - 11,4%

-

89,1% Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son #171 - 51% *

89% ABBA - Waterloo #361 - 36,8% *

88,9% Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers - Monster Mash #401 - 14,9%

88,7% Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus #358 - 20,4% ¤

88,6% Bon Jovi - Livin' on a Prayer #307 - 25,1% *

88,3% Harold Faltermeyer - Axel F #289 - 18,4% 88,3% Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me #394 - 8,3%

87,9% Madonna - Like a Prayer #313 - 34,6% *

87,8% The Weeknd - Blinding Lights #233 - 14,4%

87,7% Adele - Rolling in the Deep #351 - 15,5%

87,6% Gotye featuring Kimbra - Somebody That I Used to Know #267 - 15,1%

87,4% O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei #353 - 23,3% *

86,9% The Ronettes - Be My Baby #350 - 19,6% 86,9% Black Eyed Peas - Pump It #354 - 6%

86,8% Gnarls Barkley - Crazy #206 - 17,3%

86,6% Amy Winehouse - Back to Black #190 - 32,9 *

86,3% Chumbawamba - Tubthumping #82 - 24,9%

86,2% AFI - Miss Murder #306 - 16,8% 86,2% Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Backstreet's Back) #391 - 26,6% *

86,1% Mary J. Blige - Family Affair #308 - 5,5%

86% Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode #53 - 18,6%

85,6% Santana featuring Rob Thomas - Smooth #205 - 19,1%

85,5% Dido - Thank You #120 - 5,6%

85,3% Ricky Martin - La Bomba #132 - 8,3% 85,3% Billy Idol - Rebel Yell #197 - 23,9%

85,2% Queen - The Show Must Go On #142 - 20,9% ¤

85% Green Day - Basket Case #47 - 27,6% *

84,9% Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop #41 - 15,8%

84,7% The Cardigans - Lovefool #135 - 24,2% *

84,5% Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love #136 - 18,8% 84,5% Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk #386 - 20%

84,4% Daryl Hall & John Oates - Out of Touch #67 - 31,4% * 84,4% Pet Shop Boys - It's a Sin #382 - 16%

84,3% Blur - Song 2 #222 - 18,6% 84,3% No Doubt - Just a Girl #369 - 20,8%

84,2% The Sweet - The Ballroom Blitz #226 - 15,8%

83,8% Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head #302 - 15,8% ¤

83,6% Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5 #372 - 30,8% 83,6% Talking Heads - Psycho Killer #404 - 33,3% *

83,2% The Offspring - Come Out and Play #355 - 6,9%

82,7% Nightwish - The Phantom of the Opera #144 - 8,6%

82,6% Junior Senior - Move Your Feet #76 - 6,5%

82,5% Blackstreet featuring Dr. Dre and Queen Pen - No Diggity #249 - 37,8% * 82,5% Robert Miles - Children #270 - 2,9%

82,4% Myrkur - Tor i Helheim #54 - 7% 82,4% Tracy Chapman - Fast Car #145 - 32,5% *

82% Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way #105 - 19,2%

81,9% Blue Swede - Hooked on a Feeling #152 - 17,1% * 81,9% 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite #167 - 15,1%

81,7% Daft Punk - Around the World #231 - 18,2%

81,6% N Sync - Bye Bye Bye #52 - 26,9% * 81,6% Shakira featuring Alejandro Sanz - La Tortura #269 - 4,8%

81,5% Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow #42 - 16,7%

81,1% Metallica - Enter Sandman #200 - 32,5% *

80,9% Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party #397 - 14%

80,7% Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity #72 - 17,9%

80,6% Fatboy Slim - Praise You #237 - 6,5% 80,6% Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus - Old Town Road #357 - 11,1%

80,5% Pixies - Where Is My Mind? #148 - 13,5% 80,5% Roxette - The Look #225 - 5,7%

80,4% Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll #395 - 16,5%

80,2% Oasis - Wonderwall #157 - 16%

80,1% Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun #119 - 14,9%

-

79,9% Dee Dee Sharp - Mashed Potato Time #326 - 0,7%

79,8% Christina Aguilera - Candyman #228 - 5,9%

79,6% Fats Waller - Ain't Misbehavin' #179 - 7,1% 79,6% Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water #238 - 7,2%

79,4% Falco - Rock Me Amadeus #185 - 23,2% 79,4% Enrique Iglesias - Bailamos #304 - 6,2% 79,4% October Country - My Girlfriend is a Witch #393 - 3%

79,3% Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up - #Bonus Poll

79,1% Runrig - Gamhna Gealla #281 - 4,5%

78,8% Shakira - Ojos Así #75 - 7,5% 78,8% MUCC - Libra #263 - 1,7% 78,8% The Platters - Only You (And You Alone) #315 - 3,8%

78,7% The Jacksons - Blame It on the Boogie #220 - 15,8%

78,5% Kaoma - Lambada #57 - 4,2%

78,4% Danny Elfman - This Is Halloween #05 - 13,9%

78,2% Panic at the Disco - The Ballad of Mona Lisa #78 - 18,5% *

78% Panjabi MC - Mundian To Bach Ke #64 - 5,3% 78% Wang Heye - Windy #298 - 3,3%

77,8% Plastic Bertrand - Ça Plane Pour Moi #318 - 11,3%

77,7% Tenacious D - Tribute #201 - 23,6% * 77,7% Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) #325 - 11%

77,6% Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower #95 - 13.1% 77,6% Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World #118 - 10,7%

77,4% Daddy Yankee - Gasolina #349 - 27,1% *

77,2% Psy - Gangnam Style #255 - 22,4%

77,1% Michael Jackson featuring Slash - Give In to Me #341 - 5,8%

77% Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road #22 - 29,4% * 77% Kesha - Blow #38 - 12,1%

76,9% The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony #271 - 32,5% *

76,8% Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid #356 - 6,5%

76,6% Santiano - Gott muss ein Seemann sein #276 - 7,6%

76,4% Salt-N-Pepa with En Vogue - Whatta Man #134 - 15,1% 76,4% George Michael - Freedom! #219 - 17,2%

76,3% Johnny Cash - Hurt #81 - 35,6% * 76,3% Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside #92 - 8.2% 76,3% The Offspring - Gone Away #143 - 5,9% 76,3% The Longest Johns - Hoist Up The Thing #169 - 7,8%

76% Foo Fighters - The Pretender #111 - 14,2% ¤

75,9% Queens of the Stone Age - No One Knows #87 - 12,9% 75,9% Cab Calloway - St. James Infirmary #360 - 6,2% 75,9% Porno Graffitti - Melissa #376 - 5,9%

75,7% Nothing but Thieves - Is Everybody Going Crazy? #113 - 3,7% 75,7% Warren G featuring Nate Dogg - Regulate #244 - 9,2%

75,5% Tarkan - Şımarık #94 - 3.1% 75,5% Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way #246 - 24,6%

75,4% Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire #188 - 8,8% 75,4% Arash featuring Rebecca Zadig - Temptation #332 - 2,2%

75,3% The Doors - Light My Fire #319 - 15,3%

75,2% Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee) #147 - 14,2% 75,2% Duran Duran - Ordinary World #257 - 14,2% 75,2% Anastacia - Not That Kind #335 - 3,1%

75,1% Kent - Kärleken Väntar #202 - 4,3%

74,9% Måneskin - Off My Face #151 - 7,9%

74,8% Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni #16 - 33% * 74,8% Fiona Apple - Criminal #329 - 9,6%

74,7% Army of Lovers - Crucified #377 - 8,1%

74,6% Nat King Cole - Nature Boy #09 - 7,2% 74,6% Within Temptation - Stand My Ground #165 - 6,4% 74,6% Pink - Who Knew #166 - 8,4%

74,5% Crazy Town - Butterfly #275 - 8,8%

74,4% Go_A - Shum #177 - 18,7%

74,3% Arash - Tike Tike Kardi #137 - 2,6%

74,2% Nelly - Hot in Herre #278 - 11,5%

74,1% Nirvana - Drain You #367 - 6,5%

73,6% Paula Abdul - Straight Up #156 - 6,2%

73,5% Tina Turner - GoldenEye #195 - 10,1% 73,5% Shaggy - Boombastic #262 - 4,5%

73,4% Babymetal featuring F.Hero - Pa Pa Ya!! #322 - 7,8%

73,3% Beck - Loser #124 - 16,4% 73,3% Massive Attack - Teardrop #187 - 17,4% 73,3% Ozzy Osbourne - Mr. Crowley #407 - 5,9%

73,2% The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist #232 - 8,2%

72,9% Britney Spears - Break the Ice #300 - 13,6% 72,9% Prince and the Revolution - Raspberry Beret #328 - 7,2%

72,7% Iggy Pop - Lust for Life #199 - 7,6% 72,7% Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing #218 - 11,9% 72,7% Michael Jackson - Is It Scary #410 - 1,6%

72,6% Evanescence - Imaginary #44 - 13,5% ¤

72,5% Gackt - Vanilla #282 - 16,8%

72% Robbie Williams - The Road to Mandalay #129 - 3,9%

71,8% Billie Piper - Day & Night #173 - 5,6%

71,7% Lil Green - Why Don't You Do Right? #34 - 1,8%

71,6% Bad Lip Reading - Seagulls! (Stop It Now) #209 - 18,5% ¤

71,5% Savage Garden - Break Me Shake Me #352 - 3,3% 71,5% Fatboy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank #363 - 8,9%

71,3% Leila K featuring Papa Dee - Rude Boy #288 - 3,6% 71,3% Billie Eilish - Bury a Friend #409 - 9%

71,2% Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood #309 - 4,9%

71,1% Cab Calloway - Minnie the Moocher #130 - 14,4% 71,1% Ladaniva - Jako #259 - 2%

71% Udit Narayan - Bholi Si Surat #141 - 1,5%

70,9% Nine Inch Nails - Closer #93 - 22% ¤

70,8% Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven #295 - 8,2%

70,7% Ryan Gosling - I'm Just Ken #159 - 12,4%

70,6% The Lightning Seeds - You Showed Me #59 - 2,7% 70,6% Savage Garden - To the Moon and Back #83 - 7%

70,5% Queen - Mustapha #29 - 11,4%

70,4% Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow #26 - 22,3% 70,4% Metallica - Wherever I May Roam #77 - 8,6% 70,4% Johnny Cash - Don't Take Your Guns to Town #298 - 12,9% 70,4% Franz Ferdinand - Fresh Strawberries #324 - 3,3% 70,4% Alphaville - Sounds Like a Melody #347 - 4,1%

-

69,9% MUCC - Ryuusei #19 - 7,4%

69,6% Michael Crawford, Barbra Streisand - Put On Your Sunday Clothes #311 - 6,2% 69,6% Eagle-Eye Cherry - Save Tonight #321 - 7,2%

69,5% Spooks - Things I've Seen #104 - 0,8%

69,4% Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton - Islands in the Stream #385 - 7,1%

69,2% Flo Rida feat Kesha - Right Round #02 - 6,2%

69,1% Dogstar - Breathe Tonight #251 - 1,4% 69,1% Tanita Tikaram - Twist in My Sobriety #291 - 6,7%

69% Dead Man's Bones - Lose Your Soul #396 - 3,3%

68,9% Era - Ameno (Remix) #24 - 4,8% 68,9% M.I.A. - Paper Planes #229 - 19% *

68,8% Nat King Cole - When I Fall in Love #215 - 9,4% 68,8% Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder #216 - 8,5% 68,8% Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody? #344 - 7%

68,5% Linkin Park - Bleed It Out #63 - 23,9% 68,5% Snow - Informer #139 - 4,7%

68,4% Iggy Pop - Real Wild Child (Wild One) #305 - 2,5%

68,3% Run-DMC featuring Aerosmith - Walk This Way #127 - 10,9% 68,3% Alice Cooper - The Black Widow #406 - 1,2%

68,2% Limahl - The NeverEnding Story #60 - 9,8% 68,2% Nelly Furtado - Maneater #160 - 17,1% * 68,2% Abhijeet - Ole Ole #193 - 1,7% 68,2% Three Days Grace - Now or Never #337 - 6,9%

68,1% Stromae - L'enfer #89 - 9,8%

67,9% Urban Symphony - Rändajad #90 - 2,2% 67,9% Papa Roach - Getting Away with Murder #339 - 8,3%

67,8% Muse - Endlessly #107 - 9,4%

67,7% Poornima - Channe Ke Khet Mein #253 - 1,3%

67,6% My Chemical Romance - Sing #80 - 17,3%

67,3% “Weird Al” Yankovic - White & Nerdy #43 - 16% 67,3% Klaatu - We're Off You Know #378 - 2,1%

67,1% Ice Nine Kills - Welcome To Horrorwood #280 - 7,6% 67,1% Mary Elizabeth McGlynn - Room of Angel #403 - 4,1%

67% Avicii - Hey Brother #164 - 13,9% 67% P.O.D. - Youth of the Nation #368 - 4,6% 67% Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Red Right Hand #402 - 13,4%

66,8% Jamiroquai - Deeper Underground #258 - 5,3%

66,7% The Hives - Two-Timing Touch and Broken Bones #58 - 2,7%

66,6% Antique - Opa Opa #213 - 2,5%

66,4% Kiss - Heaven's on Fire #338 - 2,9%

66,3% System of a Down - B.Y.O.B. #128 - 26,2% *

66% Texas - Summer Son #154 - 2,6% 66% Tarkan - Şıkıdım (Hepsi Senin Mi?) #292 - 3,6%

65,9% Otis Redding - Cigarettes and Coffee #279 - 4,9% 65,9% Måneskin - Mammamia #283 - 22,2% *

65,8% Cliff Edwards - When You Wish Upon a Star #85 - 2,2% 65,8% Pātea Māori Club - Poi E #286 - 9,3% 65,8% Wamdue Project - King of My Castle #346 - 3,9%

65,7% Modern Talking - Brother Louie #50 - 4% 65,7% Ivan Campo - Dice Man #181 - 1,2%

65,5% All Seeing I - Beat Goes On #256 - 1,7%

65,4% Harry McClintock - The Big Rock Candy Mountains #131 - 6,7% 65,4% Jessica Folcker - Tell Me What You Like #247 - 2,1%

65,2% Eimear Quinn - The Voice #32 - 2,5% 65,2% 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre and Roger Troutman - California Love #121 - 8,3% 65,2% Radio Company - Drowning #172 - 2,2% 65,2% Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso #208 - 7,1% 65,2% Kiltro - All The Time In The World #224 - 2,4%

65,1% Samantha Mumba - Gotta Tell You #242 - 4,1% 65,1% Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake - Give It to Me #310 - 2%

64,7% Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch #162 - 9%

64,6% Gorillaz - Stylo #61 - 15,8% 64,6% Duran Duran - The Chauffeur #133 - 7,1%

64,4% Alice Cooper - Poison #01 - 10,5% 64,4% Depeche Mode - It's No Good #101 - 9,1%

64,2% Ace of Base - Happy Nation #192 - 3,8%

64,1% Destiny’s Child - Jumpin’, Jumpin’ #51 - 12,7%

64% 2 Unlimited - No Limit #182 - 3,2% 64% 30 Seconds to Mars - Battle of One #183 - 3,9% 64% Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes #330 - 3,3%

63,8% Kongos - Come With Me Now #17 - 15,9% 63,8% A. R. Rahman - Jai Ho #40 - 4,6%

63,7% Eminem featuring Nate Dogg - 'Till I Collapse #239 - 2,1%

63,6% Björk - Army of Me #214 - 19,7% * 63,6% Aaliyah - Try Again #217 - 7,6%

63,4% 50 Cent - Candy Shop #320 - 12,2%

63,3% Dua Lipa - New Rules #126 - 10,6% 63,3% Smashing Pumpkins - Zero #327 - 5,1%

63,2% Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening #365 - 11,3%

63,1% Olly Murs - Heart Skips A Beat #106 - 2,2% 63,1% David Bowie - Life on Mars? #235 - 16,9% 63,1% Janet Jackson - If #364 - 2,1%

63% Moby - Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? #123 - 3,8%

62,6% Métisse - Boom Boom Bâ #287 - 4,2%

62,4% 30 Seconds to Mars - Fallen #30 - 5,5% 62,4% Beastie Boys - Intergalactic #153 - 16% 62,4% The Castells - Some Enchanted Evening #207 - 1,3%

62,3% Childish Gambino - This Is America #71 - 18,2% 62,3% the Chemical Brothers - Galvanize #191 - 7%

62,2% Nemo - The Code #362 - 3,6%

62% Billie Eilish - No Time to Die #168 - 5%

61,7% Korn - Did My Time #194 - 6% 61,7% Ginuwine - Pony #297 - 12,8%

61,4% The Prodigy - Breathe #112 - 4,5%

61,3% Blue Stahli - One Last Breath #99 - 1.8%

61,2% Verka Serduchka - Dancing Lasha Tumbai #284 - 14,5%

61,1% Wham! - Everything She Wants #108 - 6,5%

61% Skunk Anansie - Weak #196 - 4,3% 61% Robbie Williams - No Regrets #383 - 1,8%

60,7% Gyllene Tider - Sommartider #274 - 2,2%

60,6% Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah #70 - 9,9% 60,6% Kwoon featuring Babet - King Of Sea #115 . 0,5%

60,4% No Doubt - Sunday Morning #265 - 4,1%

60,3% My Chemical Romance - Bury Me In Black #294 - 19% *

60,2% Toni Braxton - You're Makin' Me High #155 - 1,4%60,2% Stephanie Mabey - The Zombie Song #408 - 3,5%

-

59,2% Reol - The Sixth Sense #266 - 1,7% 59,2% Puscifer - Rev 22.20 #334 - 5,4%

58,9% AC/DC - Hail Caesar #158 - 3,2% 58,9% Linkin Park - Waiting for the End #272 - 16,9%

58,7% Duran Duran - The Wild Boys #21 - 9,6%

58,5% Nova Twins - Antagonist #68 - 4,5%

58,4% Ava Max - Torn #331 - 2,8%

58,3% The Beloved - Sweet Harmony #379 - 1,3%

58,1% Madonna - Live to Tell #184 - 3%

57,6% Coldplay - Hymn for the Weekend #234 - 4,4%

57,3% Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away #343 - 16%

57,2% Enigma - Return to Innocence #380 - 5,9%

56,8% Mendez - Adrenaline #23 - 1,2% 56,8% Sash! - Ecuador #73 - 1,7% 56,8% Anouk - Nobody's Wife #176 - 2,2%

56,7% George Michael and Mary J. Blige - As #62 - 3,2% 56,7% Kelis - Trick Me #175 - 4,2% 56,7% Céline Dion - Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore #370 - 2,2%

56,6% Nikka Costa - Like A Feather #48 - 0,6% 56,6% Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds & Kylie Minogue - Where the Wild Roses Grow #103 - 5,7% 56,6% Bette Midler - The Rose #342 - 4,6%

56,5% Ahmed Saad Ft. 3enba & Double Zuksh - El Melouk #359 - 0,7%

56,3% Beyoncé - Work It Out #340 - 5,2%

56,1% Margaret Berger - I Feed You My Love #117 - 0,8%

55,9% Blur - Coffee & TV #56 - 9,7%

55,8% Kool & the Gang - Too Hot #277 - 3% 55,8% Chris de Burgh - The Lady in Red #314 - 4,2%

55,7% Big Brovaz - Nu Flow #65 - 0,9% 55,7% K’s Choice - Everything For Free #79 - 1,2% 55,7% AISHA and Jamison Boaz - Love the Subhuman Self #211 - 4,2%

55,5% System of a Down - Fuck the System #293 - 16,1%

55,4% Moby - Natural Blues #07 - 2,5% 55,4% Janet Jackson featuring Q-Tip and Joni Mitchell - Got 'til It's Gone #146 - 2,2%

55,3% Ardis - No Man's Land #389 - 0,6%

55,2% Rammstein - Engel #35 - 7,3%

55,1% Maximum the Hormone - What's Up, People?! #138 - 10,6% 55,1% Eros Ramazzotti - Più Bella Cosa #290 - 3,6%

55% DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime #273 - 4,9%

54,6% John Lennon - Imagine #203 - 5,3%

54,5% Billie Myers - Tell Me #86 - 0,9% 54,5% Lana Del Rey - High by the Beach #186 - 4,4%

54,3% Chthonic - Takao #285 - 2,9%

54% Aqua - Turn Back Time #28 - 8,2%

53,9% Ardis - No Man's Land #88 - 0,9% 53,9% Shakespears Sister - Stay #366 - 3,1%

53,6% The Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl #392 - 3%

53,5% Kylie Minogue - Confide In Me #13 - 5,2%

53,4% Apashe - Lord & Master #170 - 1,5%

53,2% Sugababes - Overload #312 - 4,3%

53,1% Rammstein - Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen? #375 - 4,8%

53% LL Cool J featuring Boyz II Men #243 - 3,4% 53% Maxim featuring Skin - Carmen Queasy #245 - 3,2%

52,8% Madonna - Who's That Girl #18 - 9,8%

52,7% Aerosmith - Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees) #84 - 3,5% 52,7% MUCC - Daikirai #161 - 2,1%

52,2% Marilyn Manson - The Fight Song #49 - 2,1%

52,1% DJ Shadow - Six Days #180 - 2%

52% Metallica - The Memory Remains #371 - 6,5%

51,8% Megan Thee Stallion featuring Yuki Chiba - Mamushi #345 - 10,5%

51,6% Bomfunk MC's - Freestyler #14 - 6%

51,5% Foals - Tron #210 - 1,6%

51,4% Faithless - God Is a DJ #388 - 3,7%

51,3% Mariah Carey - The Roof (Back in Time) #46 - 1,4% 51,3% Mori Calliope & Reol - 虚像のCarousel #55 - 5,6%

-

49,9% Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At #31 - 6,9%

49,8% Shaggy - Hey Sexy Lady #122 - 4,1%

49,7% Warren G & Sissel - Prince Igor #20 - 2,2%

49% Billie Eilish - NDA #10 - 2,6%

48,6% Shania Twain - Ka-Ching! #374 - 3%

47,7% Massive Attack - Angel #39 - 5,9%

47,5% Adam Tensta - My Cool #11 - 1%

47,4% Slipknot - The Blister Exists #100 - 2,6%

47,3% The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton - Jack Sparrow #221 - 9,1% 47,3% Burna Boy featuring 21 Savage - Sittin' on Top of the World #248 - 1,9%

47% Seether - Fuck It #74 - 2,6%

46,9% Rhiannon Giddens - Way Over Yonder #102 - 1,2%

46,8% Spiritbox - Rotoscope #66 - 2,6%

46,6% Sabrina Carpenter - Feather #25 - 4,6%

46,5% Stray Kids - Slash #316 - 4,1%

46% Prince - The Greatest Romance Ever Sold #69 - 2,6% 46% Duran Duran - Danse Macabre #398 - 2,6%

45,6% Jimmy Cliff feat Lebo M - Hakuna Matata #06 - 2%

45,3% Youssou N'Dour and Neneh Cherry - 7 Seconds #212 - 3,3%

44,9% Alcazar - Physical #254 - 0,9%

44,3% 3T and Michael Jackson - Why #114 - 0,7%

44,2% Tones and I - Dance Monkey #178 - 6,1%

44,1% Scooter - Friends #230 - 0,8% 44,1% Darren Hayes - Hero #252 - 1,2%

43,9% The Prodigy - No Good (Start the Dance) #08 - 2,6% 43,9% David Bowie - I'm Afraid of Americans #33 - 8,5% 43,9% Faithless - Insomnia #109 - 2,9%

43,8% Jonas Brothers - Only Human #204 - 2%

43,1% Atari Teenage Riot - Speed #317 - 4,1%

42,7% Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice #12 - 16,3%

42,6% Eminem - Rabbit Run #27 - 2,9%

42,1% Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day #296 - 3,8%

41,7% Rednex - Wish You Were Here #348 - 1,4%

41,5% Destiny's Child - With Me #198 - 3,2%

41,2% Diana Ross - If We Hold On Together #241 - 10,8%

40,6% Michael Jackson - Will You Be There #45 - 2,3%

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39,8% Alanis Morissette - I Was Hoping #96 - 1.6%

38,8% Wyclef Jean - Gone Till November #36 - 1,1%

38,5% Bright Light Bright Light featuring Mark Gatiss - Next To You #174 - 0,8%

37,9% Ariana Grande - Yes, And? #140 - 1,8%

37,6% Babylon Zoo - Spaceman #189 - 2%

36,5% Jedward - Luminous #125 - 1,4% 36,5% Elton John - I Want Love #240 - 2,1%

35,3% Noporn - Geleia de Morango #150 - 0,3%

35,1% 30 Seconds to Mars - Midnight Prayer #333 - 1,1%

34,6% Ena Mori - Fall Inlove! #149 - 0,4%

33,3% Ryan Gosling - Put Me in the Car #15 - 3,2%

33,2% Camellia - WYSI (When You See It) #387 - 2,1%

32,4% Take That - Babe (Return remix) #303 - 0,3%

30,6% Jordan Adetunji - Kehlani #390 - 0,6%

30% Darren Hayes - Spin #03 - 0,6%

-

29,1% Addis Black Widow - Goes Around Comes Around #250 - 3%

29% Dreamcrusher - In Due Time #98 - 0.7%

28,2% BTS - Life Goes On #97 - 1.8%

[andavs]

sorry what do you mean by eddie & shannon being a classic military couple?

Sorry it's been a minute, but this got away from me.

So military couples are notorious for getting married very young and very quickly for the benefits, and they’re also notorious for their relationships failing and getting divorced.

They skip the time usually spent building a solid foundation and partnership, and jump straight into marriage. Then if deployment comes up, one of them leaves for an extended period of time. This leads to a lot of relationships where sex is the only area where they’re compatible, because they’re both growing as people completely separate from each other. They’re handling different stresses, different schedules, sometimes completely different realities, until they’re finally reunited and a lot of the common ground they built their early relationship on isn’t there anymore. So they focus on the good things to keep things going because it’s easier, which is often sex.

Sound familiar?

Eddie and Shannon both said that they were always good at sex, but that’s about it. They never learned how to work as partners before they got married and became parents, and with Eddie deployed almost straight out of basic and overseas for half of their marriage, they never got the chance. Even just communicating was a struggle; anytime they tried to broach a difficult subject, it devolved into a yelling.

Like the fight about Eddie reenlisting:

Readjusting to civilian life is always rough, even with a really solid support system and no PTSD. Not just coming back to safety from danger, but while you're deployed, everything is relatively "simple". Even if you’re in a warzone and seeing combat, everything else is handled for you—food, clothing, medical, housing, etc. Coming back to suddenly having to worry about rent and paying for the dentist and grocery shopping and feeding the kids and getting them to school is a big adjustment and it can be overwhelming.  

So is coming back after a year and really realizing how much of your family's life you missed. They handled things without you, your kids grew and changed without you—you don't even know what you missed but you know you're out of sync, and it can be incredibly isolating. Reenlisting to get back to the familiar and "simple" life of the military isn’t uncommon.

Eddie didn't even know how to hold his son, let alone process the CP diagnosis, and all the bills and headaches of everyday life on top of that. Shannon was used to the bills and headaches and wanted him back so she wouldn’t have to handle it all alone, but he was so incredibly overwhelmed and disconnected that reenlisting was, in his mind, the way to solve a lot of those problems. (It’s also possible he got a pretty good bonus for reenlisting, which it sounds like they really needed, and Eddie was raised to do whatever it takes to provide.)

Then the welcome home party:

This comes with all the same problems as the reenlisting argument, but this time with more trauma and no exit strategy because Eddie was shot multiple times and discharged. The only way he's been able to "be a man and provide" for his family is unavailable, and he's clearly struggling with feeling useless and out of his depth.

Each member of his family in that scene puts pressure on common points of stress of returning from deployment:

Helena's on him for not knowing how to care for Christopher, and everything he’s missed while he was away.

Ramon's proudly holding up the symbol of his trauma and reciting the certificate, lauding the job Eddie can't do anymore.

Shannon's clearly been living for the day he gets back so she wouldn’t have to do it all alone anymore and they could get out of Texas. It was her light at the end of the tunnel, and she wants to get out of there as soon as possible.

None of them were being intentionally malicious, but Eddie constantly downplays everything about his military service ("I was just doing my job" / "I just did what anyone else would do") so none of his family really knew what he went through or how much it affected him. He came home pretending he was fine, so they expected him to be fine. Maybe they wanted him to be fine so they didn’t see how much he wasn’t. 

This is a really common problem for combat veterans and their families. They don’t want to think about what they’ve been through so they shove their medals in a box in the closet. They don't want to talk about it because their family won't understand or they don't want to go into the gory details, maybe they feel ashamed, or maybe they just aren’t ready to revisit it yet. But by not talking about it at all, the disconnect grows and they feel more alienated from their family, who has no idea how much they're struggling so they don’t know how to help, or even that they need help.

And Eddie’s clearly struggling in that scene, literally backed into a corner, snapping that he needs time because he doesn't know how to say that he can't handle up and moving to another state on top of everything else he's still not adjusting to. He probably can't even admit that he's not adjusting because this stuff should be easy and everyone else can get his son a drink, but he can’t even do that right. He was an incredibly competent and capable soldier and medic, and now he doesn’t even know where the juice boxes are.

But to Shannon, who doesn't know what he's feeling, he's being stubborn and dismissive of what she needs and everything she's been dealing with alone. And again, they never learned how to tackle these kinds of issues without fighting each other.

They were both at the end of their rope, and had similar responses that were incompatible with each other. Eddie dug in where it felt familiar and safe to him, in El Paso with his family nearby. Shannon retreated to where she could feel safe: LA, with her mom, where she wouldn't have someone correcting everything she did and constantly breaking her down further. It's possible she had her own support system there that she'd been largely cut off from while in Texas.

It's also not uncommon for a returning soldier to get boxed out of childcare and family decisions; their partner has gotten so used to handling it on their own that it can feel like they aren’t needed anymore. But sometimes the opposite happens: their partner has gotten so overwhelmed handling it all on their own that they end up dumping it on the returning soldier, like what happened when Shannon left. She was able to get away and breathe without everything on her shoulders, but then it all fell on Eddie who was already struggling with the basics.

Combine all of that with the stigma of PTSD within the military and so many soldiers willfully ignoring the symptoms, the way Eddie was raised to “brush it off, keep moving forward”, and Eddie’s very internal, freeze response PTSD symptoms where he just kind of shuts down and tries to stay where it’s safe, and you’ve got a dude silently drowning in Texas until he’s forced to make a move because his parents want custody of his son.

Most of this came from the book I Always Sit with My Back to the Wall, which again, seems like the instructions Eddie was built from.

[artemiseamoon]

Bonus: Family reunion

An: I’m simply in my feels about them still, soooo here we go. There is a nod to a ship at the end cause @yourlocalspacewitxch has me obsessed with it now | gif credit to owners | no warnings this chapter, another little one is on the way but I get that counts as a warning for some

Words: 1207 | Fic info | read in full on A03

SPOILERS if you have not read the fic or skipped through final chapters. Do read those first.

⏱1 year later

Ramón is a doting father. Everything you could have dreamed and more.

Over the last year, you’ve had moments you had to pinch yourself and make sure you weren’t dreaming. Before, when you dreamed of this outcome you felt foolish and like a romantic, it seemed so unreal, so unattainable. Your happy ending arrived, and you’re still savoring every single moment of it.

Unlike before, you’re not doing this alone anymore. Ramón is head over heels in love with Isabel and her with him; they’re two peas in a pod and you love seeing it. Ramón has been the happiest you’ve ever seen him. You didn’t think you could see him smile any brighter, or his eyes fill with anymore joy, he was already bursting at the seams with it.

Then, five months ago, you found out another little one is on the way. The news made you nervous but filled you with happiness too. Sure, you would have been fine only having Isabel, or at least waiting until she was 7 or 8 before another one. But you didn’t run from this one or deny it like before, and when you told Ramón it bought happy tears to his eyes. He so badly wanted to be there for everything with Isabel, and now he gets a second chance.

He's obsessed with your growing belly and is always littering it with kisses and speaking to the baby. When doing the tiniest tasks, he eases you away and takes things out of your hands, so you don’t have to lift anything…

Keep reading on A03

Next bonus chapter preview

[greensagephase]

I've been possessed by a thought recently. It's nothing someone hasn't done already, but take my hand and hear me out, please 😩

Think about a Miguel, who drives a Chevy Silverado and wears a sombrero vaquero and this kind of clothing.

He's a quiet, respectful, educated, and honest man who works hard to provide for his parents and sibling (let's pretend Conchata and George are not like in the comics), you know, quiere sacar su familia adelante (wants to push his family forward). 😩🥺

He's a gentleman and a hopeless romantic, who may not seem like it because he's so focused on working hard. All the girls at the parties talk about el muchacho (the young man) Miguel O'Hara, one of the most handsome and eligible solteros (bachelors) of the community, along with his brother, Gabriel. He's not a flirt, running around with every pretty girl he sees. No, he's the kind to only date to marry and even though it may not seem like it, he hopes to marry someone like that one day.

one more thought and the music he probably listens to below the cut!

Back to the respectful stuff, he probably tips his hat when greeting someone and when he interacts with young women, he addresses them as "señorita". He's a respectful man, but especially to his elders because he was raised to be like that. He's the kind of man to immediately offer assistance when needed, like helping the older ladies (las doñas) reach for something on the higher shelves.

Also, he's the kind of man to open the door of his truck for you and help you up if you're a shorty like me. 😍🤭

Bonus: I like to think his hats are special to him because they're handmade from Mexico, so they're authentic ones. He takes really good care of them so they'll last longer since he knows they'll wear out with normal use. He probably hardly lets Gabriel borrow them, but once he starts dating you, Miguel happily places his hat on you because he loves the sight of you wearing his hats.

Music I think he'd listen to (it's all in Spanish; I'm sorry non-Spanish speakers😔with Youtube links)

"¿Y Todo para Qué?" - Intocable "Hecha Pa' Mi" - Grupo Frontera "Tragos Amargos" - Ramon Ayala y Sus Bravos del Norte "Mi Golondrina" - Ramon Ayala y Sus Bravos del Norte "Adoro" - Bronco, Armando Manzanero "Te Aprovechas" - Grupo Limite "Sentimientos" - Grupo Limite "Desvelado" - Bobby Pulido

I'll let go off your hand now, thank you for hearing me out and being delusional with me😊

[buddierecs]

outsider pov buddie fics

these fics have a mixture of outsider pov, most from the 118 family tho all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

paralytic narcolepsy guy hates buckley & diaz by: eightpackdiaz "paralytic narcolepsy guy is forced to listen to buckley and diaz talk to and about each other in his unconscious presence over the years. he insists he fucking hates them. but then he also accidentally helps them get engaged." word count: 5.4k important tags: 5+1 things, idiots in love, getting together good luck, babe by: hattalove "sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you." word count: 2.1k important tags: crack, social media, jealous!eddie diaz jeep talking by: daisies_and_briars "a ride in the backseat of buck's Jeep with buck and eddie in the front gives chim new perspective on his brother-in-law's strange dynamic with his so-called "best friend.' and chim is sick of them being so oblivious." word count: 2.2k important tags: chimney han pov, oblivious!chimney han the sincerest form of flattery by: canadadry "in which brad torrence only almost passes out, and observes the aftermath." word count: 1.7k important tags: brad torrence pov, bobby nash is evan buckley's parent, 8.03 fic

actually, truly by: milenadaniels "helena (and ramon) tries to find a way back into eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding buck around every corner she turns." word count: 14k important tags: helena diaz pov, post season 4, homophobia, pre-relationship, hurt!eddie diaz, therapy i'll call you mine by: coupe_de_foudre "5 times ravi witnesses eddie and buck fake a relationship, and the one time he realises they were married all along" word count: 9.1k important tags: 5+1 things, ravi panikkar pov, fake dating, fluff, misunderstandings, idiots in love does your firehouse know? by: allyasavedtheday "after chimney accidentally discovers buck and eddie are together they ask him to keep it a secret for a few weeks while they settle into their relationship. It goes about as well as expected." word count: 7.5k important tags: chimney han pov, secret relationship, crack a simple kind of love by: woodchoc_magnum "in which christopher watches as eddie and buck slowly fall in love." word count: 15k important tags: christopher diaz pov, pre-relationship, getting together, buckley-diaz family maybe it's the way you lean on his shoulder by: allyasavedtheday "in which naddie realises there might be more to buck and eddie's relationship than she'd originally thought." word count: 4.1k important tags: maddie han pov, feelings realisation, domestic fluff another man's child by: georges1982_96 "a 5+1 fic of chim realizing buck is chris's dad and buck gradually stumbling on the same realization" word count: 18k important tags: chimney han pov, 5+1 things, ptsd, medial trauma, homophobia, ableism, soft!buddie, protective!evan buckley don't need to be related to relate (don't need to share genes or a surname) by: champagne_for_breakfast "the one where bobby realizes he is somehow buck's father, eddie's father-in-law and christopher's grandfather all at the same time. and he may just be one conversation away from calling eddie out and making him kiss buck." word count: 10k important tags: bobby nash pov, idiots in love, getting together, bobby nash is evan buckley's parent shapes and spaces by: prettyunhinged "five times christopher calls buck his dad to other people, and the one time he finally gets to say it to buck." word count: 14k important tags: 5+1 things, christopher diaz has two dads, oblivious!buddie, getting together, team as family, fluff

[littlespoonevan]

Princess Diaries 2 au!

not me already cheating askdjfhsa so i actually have the first chapter of this fic written but i never got any further than that so i never posted it. but!!! that means you are in luck bc i can offer you 3.5k almost immediately lmao

i had a lot of fun rereading this though so hopefully this might give me some motivation to keep going with it 🤞✨

-

“You want to do what?”

Buck’s parents regard him with identical disdainful looks. It’d almost be intimidating if he wasn’t on the receiving end of looks like that from both of them at least once a day.

“Evan, this doesn’t concern you,” his mother sighs.

“Like hell it doesn’t!” he exclaims, looking wildly between his parents and his sister. “Aren’t you forgetting what happened the last time you tried to stick Maddie in an arranged marriage-“

“Evan,” Maddie cuts in, voice gentle but firm enough for Buck to deflate. The smile she offers him is resigned. “It’s alright.”

“It’s not alright,” he protests weakly.

“Maddie understands the responsibilities she has as our daughter,” his father says, the, you don’t, heavily implied.

“Regardless, she’s far too old to be concerning herself with something as trivial as a love match,” his mother scoffs and Maddie’s mouth tightens into a thin line.

His parents love to bring up that Maddie is in her late thirties and still single. As if the whole reason for that isn’t because the last person they set up her up with tried to kill her – a trauma from which she’s obviously still recovering. Buck’s not about to let it happen again, not on his watch.

“Do you understand what a match like this could do for our family?” Margaret continues. Buck’s never understood his parents’ obsession with titles and social climbing. He would’ve figured still being a viscount and viscountess would be enough for anyone when, y’know, no one gives a shit about the monarchy nowadays.

“Besides, lord knows the Diazes would be indebted to us for even agreeing to it,” Philip adds with a derisive snort.

“I’ve heard Prince Edmundo is very pleasant,” Maddie offers, clearly trying to placate Buck and possibly trying to convince herself also. She’s putting on a brave face but Buck knows she’s nervous after Doug. It’s been years but Maddie still jumps at shadows.

Buck rolls his eyes. He may never have met him before but Buck has heard the scandal surrounding Prince Edmundo. He fell in love with a commoner and tried to marry her but his parents refused the match. Then, four years ago, a child was left at the palace gates with a letter addressed to Prince Edmundo. Apparently before they were forced apart Edmundo had gotten her pregnant and she was no longer in a position to take care of the child. Within hours, the whole world knew.

The Diazes had hired an entire new security team after that.

Buck hasn’t heard much since but he does know the potential marriage King Ramon and Queen Helena had been arranging for Edmundo completely fell through with the reveal of the child and he hasn’t publicly dated anyone since.

So now they’re here: a proposed match between Maddie and Edmundo so Edmundo can ascend the throne in the fall like he’s supposed to.

 “I still don’t like it,” Buck mutters.

“How about a compromise?” Maddie suggests then. “We have a trial period.

“I personally have no desire to get married to a stranger – I would, at least, like to know the man’s favourite food or his hobbies – so why don’t we see if Prince Edmundo would be agreeable to my coming to stay at the palace? Six months. A proper courtship. And, if anything untoward happens or I suspect something isn’t right, the union is ended.”

Their parents share a look, conversing only with their eyes and pinched mouths. Eventually their father looks back to them. “If the Diazes agree, then fine. But Maddie, you are running out of time. If Prince Edmundo doesn’t marry you then you can’t protest whoever else we choose. You’ve put it off long enough.”

Buck wants to protest but he knows this isn’t his fight. He’ll get his turn whenever they decide to turn his attention to him. He watches Maddie take a measured breath and is, once again, in awe of his sister’s ability to keep her composure. He can never do that. He always feels too much.

She looks their parents dead in the eye and nods. “I understand.”

“I’ll write to Helena then,” Margaret sighs.

~

“I don’t like it.”

Eddie just about refrains from rolling his eyes. He suspects the hand he has braced against his temple is just about the only thing preventing his parents from seeing the exasperation on his face.

“It sounds perfectly reasonable to me,” Eddie says and his mother clucks her tongue.

“Of course it does, Eddie. You’re just looking for a way to get out of this.”

“No, I’m not,” he exhales. He’s long since given up on trying to get out of this marriage. Any hope he had of marrying for love ended when his parents forced him to kick Shannon to the curb. Christopher arriving on his doorstep a few years ago left that hope buried six feet beneath the ground.

Truthfully, he doesn’t care anymore. His priority is Christopher now. He doesn’t need romantic love; all he needs is a political match with someone who will, at best, be decent to his son or, at worst, ignore Eddie and Christopher except for public appearances.  

He understands Maddie’s reticence though.

“Maddie’s last fiancé tried to murder her, Mother,” Eddie points out. “She doesn’t know me. Of course she’d be hesitant to marry immediately.”

“Philip and Margaret never mentioned this when we were making the arrangements though,” his father cuts in and Eddie does roll his eyes this time.

“They probably hadn’t told her yet,” he says. “Really, I don’t mind.” If anything, six months in which his parents fixate on someone else besides him sounds like a dream come true.

His parents whisper to each other but Eddie doesn’t bother trying to listen in. Instead he glances out the window to where Chimney is training in their new security hire, Ravi. The kid looks fresh out of high school and like he spooks way too easily but Eddie still wishes he was out there with them. Or in the playroom with Carla and Christopher.

Or anywhere that isn’t here.

“Fine,” Helena says, snapping him back into reality. “We’ll allow it. But you are to be on your best behaviour, Eddie. Do you understand how difficult it was for us to find you a match after your indiscretions-“

“You mean my son?”

His mother huffs. “You know we love Christopher. But people talk and you must admit your actions with that woman were completely reckless. Just like always.”

Eddie ducks his head, fists clenching in frustration. “Mom, it’s been nearly ten years since I last even saw Shannon. I was a kid. I was stupid. But I’m not going to apologise for it. Not when it gave me my son.”

“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” Ramon commands but then he folds, just slightly, and rubs at his forehead. “This is a good thing, Edmundo. It’s almost time for you to ascend the throne. It is your turn to honour this family; try to see that.”

Eddie doesn’t think there’s a single word in the English language he hates more than honour. Rolling his shoulders, he lowers his gaze and nods in acquiescence.

~

Eddie spends the rest of the day preparing for the Buckleys’ arrival with Hen, taking the chance to duck away to his room when she gets a phone call. She scowls at him and flaps her hand in a gesture that clearly indicates she doesn’t want him to go anywhere but he pretends not to understand and gets out of reach before she can grab him.

She’s confirmed Maddie’s brother, Evan, will be coming with her as well as Maddie’s personal security guard, Athena Grant. Eddie wasn’t aware the children of viscounts needed their own security detail but he guesses for Maddie it might be an extra precaution.

He’s heard the story, of course. How she and her previous husband had beaten the odds. Arranged marriages were common in their world but one that was also a love match was all but unheard of for people like them.

But Maddie and her fiancé, Doug, had seemed like the real thing. Their lavish wedding had been the talk of royal enthusiasts everywhere – the only people who actually pay attention to high society weddings. Then, a little over a year ago, Maddie was brutally attacked and almost killed.

Her husband had been the culprit.

And if Eddie’s sources are to be believed, Doug had been beating her the entire time they were together. Honestly, Eddie’s surprised she even agreed to the match. Though, if her parents are anything like his own, he doubts she had any say in the matter.

It makes him feel only the tiniest bit better about his own situation.

Losing Shannon is a pain that still aches deep inside of him but at least he’d loved her and she’d loved him back. And if nothing else, she’d given him Christopher, the most precious gift of Eddie’s life.

With him and Maddie…well. He doesn’t think they’ll fall in love but maybe they can be friends. After all, isn’t that what marriage is? Companionship? Eddie’s had love now; he knows what it felt like. Once is more than enough for him. He can be grateful for that – it’s more than most people get in his line of work.

A knock at his open door rouses him from his reverie and he looks up to find his abuela standing at the threshold, a mischievous sort of smile on her face.

“Abuela,” he says warmly.

“I hear we have visitors coming?” she says, crossing into his room and coming to rest at the chaise longue near his writing desk.

“I’m pretty sure Mom’s arranging a car as we speak,” he says, flashing a fake smile.

Abuela hums, regarding him with an appraising look as if she’s trying to read everything he’s not saying in the set of his shoulders or the slant of his eyebrows. She’s always been far too perceptive when it comes to him.

“How are you really feeling, Eddito?” she asks. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Eddie hangs his head, letting out a weary sigh, before coming to sit beside her. “Do I have much of a choice?”

“You always have a choice,” she tuts. “Don’t let your parents make you think you don’t.”

“I always knew what my life would be. This isn’t some cruel twist of fate handed down by the universe. It’s my duty – to my family, to this kingdom.”

“And what about your duty to yourself?” she asks quietly and Eddie looks away.

He takes a moment to rally himself before he can manage to smile at her again. “I’ve gotten everything I want from life already. Christopher is enough. I don’t need anything else.”

Abuela watches him with something that could be pity on anyone else. From her, it’s just an overwhelming sense of empathy and love. She reaches out to pat his cheek and Eddie marvels – as he always does – at the way the casual affection he shares with her and his aunt never comes as easily with his parents.

“Protect yourself, Eddie,” she murmurs, a quiet request. “Please. For me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He swallows, emotion he doesn’t expect clogging his throat. “You had an arranged marriage. So did Mom and Dad. I’ll be fine,” he promises, lifting a hand to cover Abuela’s with his own where it still rests on his cheek.

“I know,” she says, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “And I was very happy with your abuelo. But you, mi ángel, have always dreamed of love. I want that for you.”

Tears burn behind his eyes but he blinks them away and forces a bright smile onto his face.

“I’m sure the Maddie will be a perfectly good match.”

It sounds like a lie even to himself.

~

Buck yanks at his tie for the sixth time since they got out of the car and Maddie slaps his hand away.

“Relax,” she mutters. “I feel like you’re more nervous than I am.”

He lets his hand drop with a sigh, shooting Athena a winning grin when she casts them both a sidelong glance. She rolls her eyes before turning back to talking to the Diaz chief of staff, Bobby Nash, as they make their way up the steps of the palace. Henrietta Wilson, who is Bobby’s second in command and evidently personally responsible for Prince Edmundo, keeps pace with him and Maddie.

“How are you feeling?” he asks under his breath and Maddie gives him an exasperated smile.

“I’m fine,” she insists, reaching out to latch onto his pinkie finger with her own and giving it a quick squeeze. “You don’t need to worry.”

“I can’t help it,” he mutters.

Up until now Buck has been able to pretend this is all some farcical plan or- or a vacation for him and Maddie! But now they’re here and they’re about to have a formal introduction with the royal family and it suddenly feels real. Maddie’s getting married. Courtship or not, that’s the end goal in all this and she’s not going to be able to say no unless Buck can find a legitimate reason why.

And maybe it’s not Prince Edmundo’s fault and maybe he’s just as helpless in all of this as Maddie is but Buck’s still ready to hate him on sight.

This whole thing feels wrong, out of place. Maddie shouldn’t have to get married again if she doesn’t want to. And she sure as hell shouldn’t have to marry someone just to satisfy their parents’ need for social climbing. It’s not fair. She’s been through enough and he can’t believe their parents are willing to put her through another potential trauma by forcing her into an arranged marriage.

Well, not if Buck has anything to say about it.

He’s older now than he was when she and Doug first met and he’s determined to do whatever it takes to protect her. He even convinced his parents to let him be Maddie and Prince Edmundo’s chaperone during their courtship. (Not in an official capacity but still.)

It’s not much but if it lets him keep Maddie’s safe, it’s worth it.

They reach the main entryway and Buck grinds to an abrupt halt, just stopping short of barrelling straight into Athena. She gives him a look like she knows that’s exactly what he was about to do and he ducks his head, chagrined.

Henrietta clears her throat, clearly attempting to bite back a smirk when Buck looks up at her. “Ready?”

She’s talking to Maddie but Buck still has to tamp down on the urge to say no.

“Of course,” Maddie breathes and the doors open.

One of the other staff members introduces them. Buck hears it just as they step inside.

“Presenting the honourable Madeleine Buckley and her brother, Evan Buckley.”

The royal family are waiting by the staircase for them, their expressions ranging from eager to cordial.

And well. Prince Edmundo is exceedingly handsome, he’ll give him that.

He’s tall, though not quite as tall as Buck, dressed in formal attire with his hair swept back off his face in a way that looks seemingly effortless – unlike the fifteen minutes Buck spends in front of the mirror in the morning trying to make his curls sit just right. His tanned skin and big brown eyes, coupled with the affable smile make him seem…

Charming. He is, quite frankly, the fairy-tale definition of a Prince Charming and Buck feels himself seethe with something that’s not quite jealousy but maybe somewhere adjacent to that.

Prince Edmundo steps forward and, for the first time, Buck notices the little boy behind him. That must be his son, Christopher. He’s got crutches under his arms to keep him steady and one of the Diaz’s staff stands beside him – a kindly looking woman that keeps her hand protectively on his shoulder.

“Miss Buckley,” Prince Edmundo greets, stepping forward to take Maddie’s hand. He presses a faint kiss to the back of it and Buck bites the inside of his cheek so hard he’s pretty sure he draws blood. “It’s an honour to meet you.”

“And you as well, your highness,” Maddie replies, offering up a curtsy and a careful smile. And if nothing else, Buck will admit the smile Prince Edmundo offers in response seems more sincere than Doug’s ever was.

He turns to Buck then, extending a hand to shake.

“Your highness,” Buck greets before Prince Edmundo gets a chance to, giving his hand a too-tight shake and finishing it off with a half-assed smile.

Prince Edmundo raises an eyebrow but decorum wins out above anything else. “Mr Buckley,” he returns, his own hand tightening for a moment around Buck’s. If Buck didn’t know any better he’d almost think he was amused.

Queen Helena interrupts then, gliding forward to take Maddie’s hand. “Madeleine. It’s so lovely to finally meet you.”

Maddie bows again, greeting the queen with a, “Your majesty,” that betrays none of the unease she might be feeling. One thing’s for sure, their parents trained her well.

“Welcome to our home,” King Ramon adds, coming to stand beside his wife and offering Maddie a greeting of his own.

They greet Buck and Athena next, completely pleasant and completely perfunctory. Their focus is on Maddie and that’s abundantly clear. Well, that’s fine with Buck. It’ll make it a hell of a lot easier for him to poke holes in this whole match if no one’s paying attention to him.

“We hope your journey was pleasant?” Helena says, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“It was very comfortable,” Maddie assures. “It was so generous of you to send a car.”

“It was our pleasure,” Helena says then and she looks like she means it. “Well, we’d love to stay and chat a bit more but I’m afraid the king and I have a very important meeting we must attend to.”

“The work never stops,” Ramon jokes. “Eddie will show you to your living quarters and we’ll see you at dinner tonight.”

With that, they take their leave and Buck lets out the breath he’s been holding this entire time.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Prince Edmundo does the same. But then he turns to them with a beatific smile and gestures to the staircase.

“You must be tired after your journey. I can show you to your rooms and give you some time to get settled?”

The car ride had only been a couple of hours but Buck’s not gonna complain. Standing on ceremony is exhausting.

“Thank you, Prince Edmundo,” Maddie says because Buck might’ve used up all his manners by now but she clearly hasn’t. “That’s very kind of you.”

For the first time, there’s something almost awkward in the prince’s demeanour. Buck doesn’t understand what it is until he says, “Please, call me Eddie. I don’t see any reason why we should have to stick to formalities if we’re going to be getting to know each other as we are over the next few months.”

Maddie’s shoulders drop where she stands beside him and Buck is begrudgingly impressed Prince Edmundo – Eddie – has managed to put his sister at ease.

“In that case, please call me Maddie,” she says. “I don’t need any titles. And Evan-“

“Goes by Buck,” he cuts in, flashing Eddie a closed-lip smile.

“Buck,” Eddie repeats, as if testing the name out.

Buck hates that he actually likes how it sounds coming from him.

“I’ll remember that,” Eddie says before glancing over his shoulder. “And um, if we’re still making introductions, I’d like you to meet our chaperone.”

He steps aside and Buck watches as the little boy takes three tentative steps forward to stand at his father’s side. Eddie immediately crouches down to his level once he does, wrapping a comforting arm around him and Buck hates his own traitorous heart for melting a little at the sight. “This is my son, Christopher.”

“Hi, Christopher,” Maddie says, voice warm and welcoming, as she holds out a hand for him to shake. She always was amazing with kids. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Christopher takes her hand after a moment’s hesitation and stutters out a soft, “Miss Buckley,” that has Buck biting his lip so he can maintain his composure.

Why did Eddie have to have such a cute kid?

“You don’t have to call me that,” Maddie says with a chuckle. “You can just call me Maddie if you like.”

Christopher nods and lets go of her hand and then Maddie is reaching back for Buck. “This is my brother, Evan.”

Buck huffs at his given name but obediently steps forward, crouching down in the same manner Eddie had to get on Christopher’s level.

“My friends call me Buck,” he tells Christopher with a wink, offering him a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Christopher.”

“Nice to meet you too, Buck,” Christopher says with a bashful smile as he fits his tiny hand in Buck’s to shake it.

Eddie clears his throat and there’s something inscrutable in his expression when Buck looks at him. “How about we show you to your room?”

~

[capseycartwright]

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)

Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.

Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 

Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.

ao3 link

t’s been a long time since Eddie Diaz had set foot in a church – of his own accord, at least. He’d been to the christenings and communions and confirmations of all of his various nieces, nephews, and cousins, he’d sat stiff in the pew as he’d watched friends, and family get married, trying his best not to remember how own wedding day, the way Shannon’s hands had shaken in his grip as they promised to love each other until death do them part, both of them young, too young to understand the covenant they were signing up to. Eddie had been there, for all those occasions, but he hadn’t gone to mass, or even sat in a church, just because he wanted to in a very long time. 

He wasn’t even really sure if he wanted to be there today, but it was a Thursday, and Christopher was in Texas, and Eddie wasn’t working, and he’d been having an extended mental breakdown for the last few weeks, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the pew of St Brendan’s Catholic Church, listening to a softly spoken priest with an Irish lilt to his accent – faded, after years in America, Eddie presumed, but still there, noticeable in the inflection of certain words – recite the Our Father. 

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but it felt like every other church he’d been to in his life. They didn’t all look the same, necessarily, though they followed the same format, rows of uncomfortable wooden pews and an altar decorated in gold, as opulent as it was suffocating. Eddie had thought it beautiful, before, the way Catholic churches were decorated in gold and jewels, believing for so much of his life that the wealth honoured God – but living life had made him learn the grandeur and displays of wealth were nothing more than indicative of the wealth the Catholic church had hoarded while their devout followers starved, all in the name of faith and of God. True faith didn’t need to be gilded in gold to be sincere, he’d decided.

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but mass was the same. It didn’t change – though the wording of some of the prayers did. He’d sort of been checked out of being a regular churchgoer by time they had changed some of the prayers, only discovering the difference when he confidently started to recite it wrong at his youngest niece’s communion, his mother fixing him with a glare so icy hell might have frozen over under the power of Helena Diaz’s gaze alone. He’d never learned the new ones, not really, and so Eddie just recited the one’s he’d learned for his own confirmation, the words falling from his lips, muscle memory more than it was faith now. 

Our father, who art in heaven – hallowed be thy name . 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, a little, as he murmured the prayer. Hallowed be thy name. He knew the prayer talked about God, their holy father, but the prayer had always made him think of his own father, of the way Ramon Diaz was a hallowed man in his own right, how he parented with an iron fist and expected to be obeyed. 

Things were getting better now, with his dad. Maybe – maybe that was part of the fear. Eddie had always been afraid of letting people down, but more than anyone, he was afraid of letting his father down – of seeing that look of disappointment set into every crease of his father’s face, an expression he’d been on the receiving end of for more of his childhood than he’d like to admit. Eddie had tried so hard to make sure he was never on the receiving end of that look again, but nothing he had ever done was good enough – not marrying Shannon, not the way he had tried to take responsibility for his young family, not the army, not the man he had been when he’d come home from Afghanistan. 

Distance had lessened the number of disappointed looks, but Eddie knew that was because he was simply not seeing them anymore; he was sure his father sometimes frowned at the phone when they’d finally call, silted conversation about Christopher and life at the firehouse the best either of them could muster. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was getting better. 

At least it had been, until his parents had taken Christopher with them to Texas. It hadn’t helped their relationship – but it hadn’t hindered it as much as Eddie had expected either. He was never going to thank them, for the way they had swooped in, ready to take Christopher at a moment’s notice, but he could thank them for giving his son the space that he needed to process. Eddie couldn’t give him that space, right now, but he was grateful someone could. Still – he would be ready to drive to Texas at the drop of a hat when Christopher decided he was ready to come home.

Things were getting better, that was the thing. His dad called, every night, to update Eddie on Christopher’s day. Eddie could hear the familiar sounds of the Diaz backyard as his dad softly spoke, telling Eddie about how Christopher had been to the lake, with his cousins, and how he’d finished another book, and how he was helping Helena to make dinner, right then. It had filled the gap until Christopher had started to call Eddie himself, his voice tinny as he mumbled over the phone, things not quite back to normal, Christopher not willing to talk to him about anything except Marvel and Minecraft and how abuela’s tamales were better than Eddie’s, but better than they were, at least. 

Every time they were on the phone, Eddie reassured his parents that he was working on himself. He was back seeing Frank, every week, and at Frank’s encouragement, he’d joined a veteran’s support group. Eddie wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect military veteran he assumed he needed to be, to join a veteran support group, but the rag-tag group that met at his community hall every month weren’t exactly the flag-wearing, gun-toting veterans he’d expected them to be. James was a 63-year-old man from Massachusetts who ran the group – he had moved out to LA to live with his daughter after he retired and referred to himself delightedly as a stay-at-home grandfather. Luisa was a vet around Eddie’s own age, and she’d gone back to university after she got out of the army and got a fine arts degree. She liked to paint, and talked about her wife with a reverence and openness that Eddie could only admire. 

He hadn’t said a word the first time he went, and Buck had sat in the Jeep in the carpark, a ready-made escape plan for Eddie in case he decided it was all too much. Eddie had sat quietly as the group had chatted, drinking tea and coffee out of flimsy paper cups, and eating homemade biscuits – made by James, who, as it turned out, was quite the prolific baker – and he’d watched. He’d watched as the group had talked about their bad days, and their good days, and how they were coping with life after the military, and not a single glorious war-story was exchanged. 

That was when Eddie knew it was safe to keep going. He was never going to be a man who was proud of his service, and he didn’t want to have to attend a support group of people who’d talk about their time in the military like it was the good old days. He had spoken a little more, the second time he went – Buck doing his groceries, two streets away, rather than sitting in the carpark – and he’d introduced himself, his voice gruff as he tried to figure out what version of Eddie he wanted to present to the world. 

Eddie was still figuring that part out – the version of himself he wanted to be, that is. 

He was figuring himself out. That was the point. He was trying, he was really trying – and people could see that, Eddie was sure. His parents said they could, at least.

Which was why he was here – in a church not dissimilar to the one he’d attended every Sunday in El Paso growing up – on his knees, praying to a God he wasn’t sure he actually believed in for guidance. 

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